If I were ....

Okay, while I'm listening "Rest of my Life" song loudly in my earphone, the first thing came out in my mind is " what If I were a celebrity, living life like them with glamours and fame? and which celebrate would I be?" Flashing back into my childhood / teenage's years, I really wanted to be celebrity whom people praised, adored and become a role-model. I wanted to use my fame to bring up those unnoticeable, passionate creative people whom haven't gotten their chances to show their creativity side! I used to say "when I'm in my 40's, I want to own home production - producing movies and novels.!" and now, I'm in my (very late) 20's , living life not like a celebrity, but I do believe, I'm in the process of being one of them! The funny thing, I'm more interested in entering into Bollywood movie industry and my country's movie industry, Indonesia. I want to educate people (especially kids) thorough movie about any kind of life struggles, teaching on how not important it's to use bad words in a movie for nothing. Educating the children yet giving a good entertainment to the viewers from any age! Teaching youngster society that at their age, pride and showing off isn't going to bring anything good in the future. I want to bring those talented and creative young people to produce great movies, upbringing Indonesia movie industry to International world. I'm sick of our film industry producing tons of crap, wasted, not educative and worthless movie whether it's the storyline, dialogue, actions and the worst "the cinematography"! You know, producing light movie with strong messages! A movie that will touch millions of people's hearts, remembering them over a decade and making the target market becoming better person. I want to produce movies that will be total blessing to others, movies that will make them cry over the reality but through the ending, yet still believing in happy endings. Those movies, where the viewers will be having three emotions for 1.5 or 2 hours! Scenes that will be touched their heart and soul with tears dropped from their eyes, then later, they would be laughing and putting big smile on their face and at the end, for those who are lost in their life, will find answer thorough the movies I produced. I'm not talking about religious movie, but more about making movies based on reality, not from imaginations but awaken the viewers' dream.

I want to learn a lot from Bollywood movies like how their love story movies have touched my heart, made me such a dreamer but although for many times my heart got broken into pieces, yet watching Bollywood movies still made me believe that "true love exists". Yes, their movies are super long some may reached into 3,5 hours but lately, they make it for until 2, 5 hours which is great improvement! As for me, I've no problem as long the movie has good flows and not too draggy!! My favorite Bollywood movie is no other than Shahrukh's movies and Diwale Dulhanian Le Jaayenge is definitely the first in my list. The movie title means "take the bride away", a very simple movie but beautiful cinematography, simple dialogue, joyful scenes but the climax would made your breath take away and ended the movie with "aww and wow effect". I'm sure those who watched it in cinema would be clapping their hands by the end of the movie and you could see the ladies face dropped with tears but happy face! That's kind of movie, I will be making. As for Hollywood, I'm in love with 50 first dates! what not to love about the simplicity of the movie and I never get bored (with a big smile in my face) whenever I watched them!

Nowadays, these love story movies are being so exaggerated and often are quite extereme. Unfortunately, society (youngsters) are followers, so from whichever movie they are really obsessed with, they would be acting like the role(s) they like! Teen years are years of making trials and errors, years where an individual become follower! those are the years where they develop into whoever they adore, obsessed or want to be! And honestly speaking, I want to lead these youngster for enjoying their teenager life by doing or believing in things that will be bringing them for great future. So basically, not wasting their 10 or 15 years of freedom without any attachments. I don't know whether I'm able to do it, whether I've the capabilities and capacities to do so, but that's how I want to do and be when I'm in my 40's. The funny thing with these kind of ambitions, I haven't done anything with it nor being directed into those path but at least I know what I would love to be doing in the next future :)

For few times I said I wanted to be "director of photography", but I do know and aware I'm not yet capable to be so at this moment! I'm still in the process of learning in photography but I do want to make some short-movies with the capabilities I have. It is still long way to go but It would just be awesome if I can be given so many opportunities in the future to study photography whether from the simple basic, lighting methods, angles, and whatever awesome lessons I can learnt. I'm more interested in taking "full time school" of diploma or bachelor. Just be a real student and doing so many school's assignments; just be a beginner. Long time back, I read at somewhere that the essence is in order to learn something or improving your skills, you have to think and act like a beginner. Ever since, before I do my works, I would be acting like a beginner, asking mr. google some simple questions, seeking some new poses and all, and it's really helpful. And I hope, Me and Mr. Grumpy will be given that opportunity to learn everything for once more from the basic, doing the assignments and improving the skills and knowledges from being a beginner. At least for the job I'm doing as children photographer, I would really want to improve a lot and looking forward to be producing great images; creative and touchy images! 

Many of times in the past, I imagined myself of doing this press conference for so many times because of my success with my man behind of me (well, next to me). I'm imagining myself of owning and riding cars like GMC, Roll Royce and Mercedes Benz and traveling around the world, looking for inspirations, enjoying my precious holiday BUT having lots of hectic schedules of work meeting and producing movies. Owning tall, minimalist, oval building with lots of employees and expanding my business empires wider, wider and wider. I'm enjoying these kinds of life; life where I'll be having hectic work schedules, going for meetings, relaxing only on Sunday, playing with my kids at night (and fully theirs on Saturday Afternoon & Sunday), and then keep expanding my businesses internationally. Holidays are very precious for me at least few times in a year although it would just be quick gateway but each days of my holiday are precious with lots of laughters, sleeping, eating, playing, movies and NO work whatsoever! I want people to know me wherever I go yet respect my privacy whenever I'm with my husband, kids or with bunch of family. I want to bring my mom around the world, whenever she wants, eating whatever food she wants and putting any car she wants in the garage. Opening my businesses here and there, in overseas, employing lots of people BUT at the same time, I treat my employees with dignity and educate them; so when they are out from the companies, they would be useful for society; although they aren't smart but they have the skills and personalities! 

I really want to be famous and living life just like celebrity but not messing around with the fame which is given to me. I want to keep low profile, I don't want to get involved with drugs or nightclubs or even drinking and I want to use shorts and t-shirt with my camera wherever I go! Just really a simple person who don't look wealthy but really wealthy. Have loads of savings, do lots of "save" investment and not spending money without a purpose for example like buying $50,000 dress or bag! I rather buy cameras and whatever stuff. My shoppings aren't clothes and accessories but more into gadgets, and well perhaps, teddy bears :p!

Well, now, let's go to sleep! Enough of me being such a dreamer. But I pray it won't be just a dream but will be coming true. I hope, my ways will be directed as soon as possible so I can start making those movies fast. Looking forward to be internationally famous and can be blessings to lots of people.  Goodnight everyone and i love the part where they sing " I was born for the fast life. I go for broke, a lesson I can't afford. But for what it's worth I'm ready to pay for the rest of my life" and the last part where Luda's sings "I'm stuck in this moment, freeze the hands of time Cause I feel inner peace when I'm outta my mind"  #so sleepy!